Life's Lessons: Best Intentions Edition

Linking with Sara & Rach for

A few days few weeks month ago, I found out I am a liar.

Well, I didn't say how much later.

I had the best of intentions.  Like, every Friday good intentions.

But I'm here now.  That counts for something, doesn't it?

shhhh....does too.

1.  Our hunt for a new church continues. *sigh*

2.  Do not go to the park with your best friend on a Wednesday night and think you can have a picnic dinner with your daughters in peace.  Another child or four will suddenly appear at your picnic and declare, "I'm hungry too!"

The first picnic crasher...and the main Oreo thief

Seriously, WTF parents?!?  Why do you have your kids at the playground at dinnertime without some dinner or snacks???

3.  Do not assume that your daughter will keep her mouth shut that there are Oreos in the picnic basket around the picnic crashers.

4.  Do not think you will then get to eat any of said Oreos, even if you saved calories for them in your meal plan that day.

One Oreo thief...who is one of E's best friends so she is forgiven

5.  Do not think that parents who bring their kids to the park at dinnertime without food will tell their kids to leave you alone or not to take food from strangers.

6.  Do not think the parents will even notice that their kids have abandoned the playground and are intruding on your picnic several feet away.

7.  When you go back to the park 2 weeks later, do not think the same kids will not be there again and will not approach you for food again.  Apparently, *some people* go to the park every. single. night. according to my friend who lives across the street from said park and who also apparently goes to the park every. single. night. herself.

8.  Do not think that you and your friend will learn your lesson about having picnics at the park.

9.  And if you have forgotten the name of the kid who took your Oreos, do not start referring to him as "The Oreo Thief" unless you are prepared for your friend to shorten it to Oreo.

10. Do not let Oreo's dad hear you calling him Oreo.

11. Apparently, some people consider Oreo to be a racial slur.

12. Also, do not go to the park without cash for the ice cream man you didn't know still showed up at parks.

13. Do not think $1 will be enough to buy an ice cream treat from the ice cream man.

14. If your daughter's friend lives across the street from the park, do not think that she won't have learned to cross the monkey bars at the age of four.

Every since I said, "Show me your tongue" for the Oreo picture, she won't stop sticking out her tongue when I try to take her picture

15. Also do not think that this will not inspire your own four-year-old to conquer the monkey bars...and that this won't induce a few mild heart attacks in you.

16. Also do not be so naive as to think that if the children at the park see you helping your own child across the monkey bars that they won't ask you to help them across as well.

17. Also, do not think that all these children have their parents' permission to cross the monkey bars.

18. Needless to say, my new policy is...if you want to cross the monkey bars, get your own mama to help you across.

19. Do not tell your Christian friends that you think the new show GCB is funny unless you are prepared for a rant that Hollywood is waging a war on Christianity and you are part of the problem if you watch it.

20. Also be prepared to hear something like, "I consider myself to have an excellent sense of humor. I even watched Will & Grace and thought it was hilarious."

21. I'm still trying to figure out what she was trying to say.  Because Will & Grace WAS hilarious.  That's not a sign of an excellent sense of humor.  You could have a bad sense of humor and still think W&G was funny.

22. Our (as in, mine & E's) best friends are moving.  I'm so, so, so sad.

I haven't told E yet.

23. Which means no more picnics in the park in the middle of the week.

24. I'm behind the curve on this one, but I have recently discovered Grey's Anatomy on Netflix.  I have tried to watch it on TV before and couldn't get into it, but when I watched the first episode on Netflix a few weeks ago, I went, "Oh, I get it now."  Still not watching it on Thursday nights, but I'm still only up to season 3.

25. I have finally found a show P will watch with me.

And I'll stop there because even though I like even numbers a lot, 25 is better in my book.  I'll let Sara figure out why on her own. ;)

Have a great week, y'all!

I have one question for you...

Can someone please tell me how to fix my blog header???  It's driving me crazy!

Overcoming Differences

My husband and I have been trying to find a new church home...but we could not be more different when it comes to our religious preferences.

He was raised Catholic.  I was raised Presbyterian.

He prefers a small church.  I like a big church.

He wants to attend church on Saturday night.  I don't understand that at all.  Sunday is for church.

He likes late service.  I prefer early service.

He prefers a contemporary service.  I would rather attend a traditional service.

Except...a few weeks ago, we visited a very small Reformed Episcopalian church (the church attached to our daughter's school as a matter of fact).  It was a very small church, very traditional service...and waaaay too Catholic for me.  He really liked it.  I did not.  I think I could learn to like it, but it will probably take a while.

A long while.

It was actually too traditional for my tastes.

Anyway...

I have been wanting to visit a local Methodist church.  I have been forewarned that this church is NOT friendly...even their members admit that they are not friendly to visitors.  Seriously, I don't understand that, but at least I knew not to expect anyone to be nice.  The only reason I want to visit is because they have such a large, active youth group, and I want a church that E can be engaged in.  Not knowing what to expect (other than unfriendly people), I asked someone where the service was only to discover there were two simultaneous services going on.  So, because I had dragged Hubs to a very large church and he hadn't complained, I asked for directions to the contemporary service.

The music?  Was awesome.  I felt just like I was at a Christian concert.  Only...I was at church.  Where was the Lord's Prayer?  The Apostles' Creed?  The benediction?  The...everything?

The preacher came up, said a prayer, read a verse, then came back for the sermon and another prayer.  Everything else was music and light shows.  I referred to it as "church-lite."

Not surprisingly, Hubs loved it and wants to go back.

I told him I would be willing to attend that service and that church if we balanced it out with a traditional service...like alternating traditional service and contemporary service each week.

Or attending the contemporary service on Sunday morning and a traditional service on Sunday or Wednesday nights.  When I said that, he said, "Wait, you lost me."  "What part?  Attending church regularly or attending more than one service per week?"  "Ha ha.  Shut up."

Needless to say, we are still looking for a new church home and a compromise on services.  Wish us luck.

Lots of luck.  We're gonna need it.

Have you dealt with similar issues in your marriage?  What did  you end up doing?

Heartbroken

Linking with Shell for

Holy crap, it's been a month since I've posted.  Sorry 'bout that.  I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again...life gets in the way sometimes.

And sleep.

Sleep gets in the way a lot.

I want to do better.  I've composed a lot of stuff in my head, but computers & me at night?  Not getting along.

Anyway...


Apparently, I've been dumped.  Not by Hubs...by a friend.

And I am heartbroken about it.

Kay and I met twelve years ago, the day she moved to the island we used to live on.  We've seen each other through a lot - abusive relationships (hers), adultery (hers), parent drama (hers and mine), moves, new relationships (hers), post-partum depression (mine), depression in general (both of us), unemployment (mine), a suicide attempt (hers) - I'm sure there's more, but needless to say, a lot has happened, and although we don't get to see each other very often, I thought we had a very strong friendship.

I thought we'd be friends in the old folks home.

She called me about a month ago and told me (again!) that she was leaving her husband.  We talked for a while, I assured her she was doing the right thing, and then we hung up.

A few weeks later, I received a shower invitation in a town about halfway between where the two of us live, and I called her to find out if she would be able to drive that far and spend a few hours together.  We haven't seen each other since her wedding, and I really thought we could use a little time away from spouses and family and friends and stress, and just have a few hours to chill and gab and reconnect.

She was bawling when I called because she had left her husband a few days prior and also served him with divorce papers.  I asked how she was doing, and how he had taken it, etc.  She said he hadn't taken it well and had promised to change, blah, blah, blah.  I pointed out that this was not the first time these issues had come up during their marriage and it was not the first time he had promised to change and nothing has changed in 2+ years - and perhaps I shouldn't have said it, but I did.  I said, "He's never going to change.  If he was going to change, he would have done it already."

The thing is - I want the best for Kay.  I want her to have a fabulous marriage, drama-free, no lying, no cheating, and the baby she so desperately wants.  I don't know her current husband well, but from what she's said, he's not the one.  There have been accusations of cheating and alcoholism and lots of lying.

And she has told me at least once that she has hit him.  Which is not right, and it's not the first relationship I know of that this has happened in.  What I want for her is for her to figure out why she continues to pick these men who are abusive or unavailable, and also to get her emotions under control so that she never hits anyone else ever again...and I think both of these things are key to her being able to have a healthy relationship with the right guy.

And I feel bad criticizing her husband.  When we were overseas, I finally told her I HATED her boyfriend after so many break-ups and beatings and drama, drama, drama.  And when they got back together, it caused a big rift in our relationship.  And then she had a relationship with a guy who was "separated" and I tried so hard to convince her that he was leading her on and the divorce was never going to happen (even though I hadn't met him, I just had this feeling).  And when he told her that he and his wife had called off the divorce, it again caused a bit of a rift. So when I met the husband and thought he was rude and self-centered, I bit my tongue and didn't tell her that I didn't like him because I didn't want to be the one who was constantly tearing down the guys she was involved with, even if I do still feel my assessments were accurate.  The second time I met him, the night before the wedding, my first impression was reinforced, but again, I bit my tongue because hello, he was about to marry my friend!  Speaking up then is just not right.  I barely knew him, and he was her choice, and I felt like it was my job to support her.

See?  I do know that there is a time to speak up, and a time to keep quiet.

So speaking up that he wasn't going to change was the first time I spoke negatively to her about him.

I didn't think I was out of line.  I didn't want her to go back to him in a moment of weakness and be unhappy for the rest of her life.  If she does decide to go back to him, I will support her and pray that it works out this time and that they are happy together for the rest of their lives.  I take marriage seriously, and I don't want to see any of my friends' marriages break up, but if they do break up, I will support their decision...and if they decide to stay together, I will pray for them to be able to work past their issues.

But since that conversation?  Kay has not talked to me.  I have posted on her Facebook wall.  No response.  Tried to call.  Got a message that she was not accepting calls (another friend told me later that message means she has changed her number).  Sent her an email.  No response.  Posted on Facebook again.  No response.  Sent her a message on Facebook asking if she was upset with me.  No response.

I. Don't. Know. What. Else. To. Do.

So I've cried.  I've gotten mad.  I've stalked her on Facebook.  I've gotten mad again at things she's posted.  And now I've accepted it.

My friend has dumped me.

I won't have closure.  I won't have answers.  I want them so bad it's driving me crazy.  But I refuse to contact her again.

I may be crazy, but I'm not out to prove it definitively.

So I'm letting go.  However hard that is.  However much it hurts.  However much it makes me doubt how good our friendship really was.

However much it makes me doubt myself.

Because this is the second friend in five years to just walk away without a fight or explanation.  The second time I have hung up the phone thinking all was good and never talked to that person again.  The second time someone I loved like a sister and been through thick & thin with has walked away from me like I don't matter.

All I can say is...this sucks.

Have you ever had a friendship end suddenly without notice and without explanation?  How did you handle it?

If You Give a Mom a Chance...

...she might just clean out everything you own!

I have been feeling overwhelmed with our "stuff" lately.  As I've been telling my husband, I feel like our stuff is owning us instead of us owning our stuff.

And it is driving. me. batty.

I suddenly realized that I am hosting book club at our house next week, and today, when I looked around our house, all I saw was stuff, stuff, and more stuff.

And I lost it.

So I went on a tear to clean the house.  And clean out.

In the middle of telling E to "clean your room!  That does not mean HAVE A PICNIC with your doll!  Go clean your room!", I decided to escort her to her room (and possibly lock her in there) to show her what cleaning means...and that's when I really snapped.

And six hours later, she had half her clothes, half her books, half her toys, half her dolls, and half her stuffed animals left.

Not because she got in trouble, just because that's how much I decided needed to go.

I am proud of her.  There were only minimal tears - all about the clothes BTW, not the toys or stuffed animals.  I made her get rid of any dress that was above her knees, which happened to be all her favorite dresses.

I don't think it helped that I gave the clothes to her best friend who she has a little bit of sibling rivalry with (even though they aren't siblings).  She tried desperately to convince R's mom to leave the dresses behind, as I was offering to carry the bags out to the car for them.

Her room looks clean and lovely and uncluttered.  Is there any way to make it stay that way for a week?

Next up...the rest of the house...

Wish me luck.

And I still need to clean the house.

Life's Lessons: Scattered Edition

Linking with Sara and Rach for this week's edition of

I've learned a lot since I last linked up so let's just dive right in, shall we?

- I'm skipping the numbering this week.  So I don't feel compelled to end on an even number, like someone we know. (ahem)

- Listening to Christian radio at work makes my day sooooo much more enjoyable.  It's way more uplifting and positive than anything else I can listen to.

- My husband needs some lessons on putting E to bed.  Unless you count "bed" as "our bed" instead of "her bed in her room."  He's got putting her to bed in our bed down pat.  In fact, he might be able to give some of you lessons on how to do it.

- If you are having trouble with discipline, I highly recommend the 1-2-3 Magic method.  It has made a world of difference in our house...at least with the parent who chooses to utilize it. (ahem)

- I need a bigger backbone.

- Or a smaller mouth.

- At work, they we are doing a biggest loser challenge and my friend asked me to sign her up if someone from my department formed a team.  So I heard two ladies talking about it in the hallway outside of my office, and I called out, "Donna wants to be on your team!"  And somehow that was interpreted as "Donna and Heather want to be on your team."

- That was not what I meant AT ALL. (but between us, it is what I NEED, just not what I meant.)

- We had our first weigh in this morning, and I got weighed by Skinny Minnie who complains a lot about being ONE POUND overweight.  I could have died that she was the one who wrote down my weight.

- So my plan to win?  Fatten everyone else up.  Let the baking begin...

- Just kidding.  I will be avoiding the baking for a while. (and eating a lot of soups and salads)

- So I got it all out of my system at Valentine's by making cake mix cookies, iced sugar cookies, and red velvet cheesecake brownies.

- I have never been especially fond of chocolate cookies, but THESE cookies changed my mind.

- You know a cookie has to be good when they are eaten faster than the sugar cookies at my house.

- I do have one temptation to overcome before I can put away all my tools.  I signed up to bake for a fundraiser for my co-worker's son who has been diagnosed with brain cancer.

- I think I make life too hard for myself - at least in some ways.

- More on that later.

- I keep seeing THIS on Pinterest, and am amazed at how much it's been repinned.  All I keep thinking is "Why don't you just use a chip clip?!?"

- Apparently, I don't see the genius everyone else sees.

- But, for those of you who do see the genius, I will suggest an alternative:  you could pour the chocolate chips into the empty water bottle and then you wouldn't have to mess with cutting the top off.

- But we'll just keep using a chip clip in our house.

- I just re-read my whole list and just let me clarify:  the backbone comment goes with the biggest loser challenge and not backing out, and the comment about making life too hard for myself has nothing to do with baking while on a diet.  Sometimes, I don't write clearly enough.

- OK, I'm out...maybe I didn't learn as much as I thought.

Hope you all have a great weekend! 

Head over to Sara's or Rach's to see what everyone else has learned this week!

Such Love...

Recent conversation overheard in the dining room...

E:  Whatcha doing, Daddy?
P:  Drawing.
E:  What are you drawing?
P:  You.
E:  That's not me!  That's a monkey!
P:  That's because you're my monkey.  You're my monkey princess.
E:  Draw a castle, Daddy.
P:  {draws castle}
E:  Now draw me a dog.
P:  {draws dog}
E:  Now draw you.  I want you to live in the castle with me.
P:  {draws himself...and me}
E:  What's that, Daddy?
P:  That's me and Mommy.
E:  {crying} I don't want Mommy there!  Take Mommy out of the picture!
P:  E, that's not nice.  Be nice to Mommy.
E:  But I don't want Mommy there!  I want you to live in the castle with me without Mommy!  Make Mommy go away!
P:  {ignoring her, continuing to draw}
E:  What are you drawing now, Daddy?
P:  A truck.
E:  {very excited} To take Mommy away?


Ohmygosh, can you feel the love?!?

I might have had my feelings hurt, but I was too busy laughing at what she said.  She's getting too smart too fast.