My husband and I have been trying to find a new church home...but we could not be more different when it comes to our religious preferences.
He was raised Catholic. I was raised Presbyterian.
He prefers a small church. I like a big church.
He wants to attend church on Saturday night. I don't understand that at all. Sunday is for church.
He likes late service. I prefer early service.
He prefers a contemporary service. I would rather attend a traditional service.
Except...a few weeks ago, we visited a very small Reformed Episcopalian church (the church attached to our daughter's school as a matter of fact). It was a very small church, very traditional service...and waaaay too Catholic for me. He really liked it. I did not. I think I could learn to like it, but it will probably take a while.
A long while.
It was actually too traditional for my tastes.
Anyway...
I have been wanting to visit a local Methodist church. I have been forewarned that this church is NOT friendly...even their members admit that they are not friendly to visitors. Seriously, I don't understand that, but at least I knew not to expect anyone to be nice. The only reason I want to visit is because they have such a large, active youth group, and I want a church that E can be engaged in. Not knowing what to expect (other than unfriendly people), I asked someone where the service was only to discover there were two simultaneous services going on. So, because I had dragged Hubs to a very large church and he hadn't complained, I asked for directions to the contemporary service.
The music? Was awesome. I felt just like I was at a Christian concert. Only...I was at church. Where was the Lord's Prayer? The Apostles' Creed? The benediction? The...everything?
The preacher came up, said a prayer, read a verse, then came back for the sermon and another prayer. Everything else was music and light shows. I referred to it as "church-lite."
Not surprisingly, Hubs loved it and wants to go back.
I told him I would be willing to attend that service and that church if we balanced it out with a traditional service...like alternating traditional service and contemporary service each week.
Or attending the contemporary service on Sunday morning and a traditional service on Sunday or Wednesday nights. When I said that, he said, "Wait, you lost me." "What part? Attending church regularly or attending more than one service per week?" "Ha ha. Shut up."
Needless to say, we are still looking for a new church home and a compromise on services. Wish us luck.
Lots of luck. We're gonna need it.
Have you dealt with similar issues in your marriage? What did you end up doing?
Monday, April 9, 2012
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my husband and I are kind going through the same thing.... but our situation is different because Annabelle isnt old enough to be engaged (Really) in youth groups etc so that isnt our main issue... its just finding a church we both want to attend and (namely he) stay awake through... we have compromised by doing just what you suggested, going to a traditional (shorter) service during the week and then watching a live streaming contemporary service online every sunday before we go to bed from a huge church in another city that he likes.i know that doesnt help but at least you know you arent alone! good luck!!!!
ReplyDeleteMark and I were on the same church page for a long time. But over the years some of my beliefs have changed a bit. Not fundamentally, just things I think are small, but things Mark is till set on. That, and the nearest church we did used to both agree on is 40 minutes away, means we haven't been attending church in a very long time. And I'm not cool with us attending different churches. For some reason, on this subject, it's all or nothing.
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